Christian marriage counseling and secular marriage counseling share the same goal: to help two spouses overcome problems in their marriage. However, if you and your spouse are Christians you could benefit from Christian marriage counseling and the unique benefits it can offer you.
What is Christian counseling? Christian counseling services provide hope for healing and growth alongside your relationship with God, who loves us and cares for us. Christian therapy helps a client face the trials of this life in a way that is manageable and supportive.
1. Having a Counselor Who Recognizes and Agrees With Your Values
By participating in Christian marriage counseling, you can guarantee that your counselor agrees with you on basic principles and shares the same values as you. You or your spouse may be more likely to open up to a counselor who shares the same values and religious beliefs as you because it brings a level of comfort to being vulnerable.
Christian marriage counselors, opposed to secular counselors, also value the sanctity of marriage and prioritize fixing problems in the relationship rather than giving up. Secular counselors are more likely to suggest divorce, while Christian counselors are more focused on pushing through problems and finding solutions through faith.
2. God is The Highest Authority
Christian marriage counseling recognizes God as the highest authority and finds solutions to problems based on what is said in the Bible. While secular counseling focuses on psychological theorists, Christian counselors look to God for advice.
If you are concerned about marriage and it’s commitment to God, Christian marriage counseling is centered around what God wants and states about marriage.
3. Christian Marriage Counseling Accepts the Absolute Truth
While secular counselors use their opinion to give guidance on your marriage and how to resolve problems, Christian marriage counselors accept what God says as the absolute truth. Because of this, you can be assured that any advice coming from your counselor is in line with that of your religion.
4. Higher Goals to Be Closer to God
Christian marriage counseling’s goal is to grow spiritually closer to God, and along that journey your problems will be solved. While secular counselors aim to solve goals and later determine the future of your marriage.
Christian marriage counseling is about the couple, but also their devotion to God and how they can better serve him by becoming better versions of themselves- kinder, gentler, more forgiving human beings.
5. Closeness to God
Christian marriage counseling is about getting closer to God. Life after marriage can become hectic with kids, moving, job changes, marriage problems, etc. that have caused you to stray from your religion.
No one is perfect, we welcome you back with open arms to reconnect with God and welcome Him back into your life and marriage.
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6. Connect With Your Spouse on a Spiritual Level
Because the goal of Christian marriage counseling is to grow your relationship with God, you will be connecting with your spouse on a spiritual level. You may attend Bible study together, volunteer, attend more church sessions, and spend more time connecting with God to solve your marital problems.
7. Prioritizing Forgiveness
One of the key tenets of Christianity is forgiveness, as we ask God to forgive for our sins everyday. Some secular counselors focus on past problems that happened months or even years prior.
Christian marriage counseling aims to remove blame from the marriage and turn to mutual forgiveness so that you can begin fresh with no hatred in your heart. None of us have perfect marriages or are without sin- but you can choose to forgive and move forward with your lives. While it’s important to forgive to heal, you can still forgive while setting boundaries.
8. Learn To Communicate Effectively
1 Corinthians 13:4–8a “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude”. In Christian marriage counseling, patience and kindness are the basis for communication. You will learn to resolve arguments and disagreements in your marriage with love and to not only listen, but understand what exactly your spouse needs to make your marriage work. You and your spouse will learn to communicate with precision, without resentment or anger. Here are 5 ways to communicate more effectively for you and your spouse to try out.
Communicating without being offensive may be difficult depending on the severity of your marital problems, but by reconnecting with your Christian values you can begin to unlearn these bad habits. In order for a marriage to work, both spouses need to be able to talk about their issues without making demands or creating conflict.
9. A Safe Space For You: Between God and Your Counselor
Even the happiest of couples have problems- every single day of marriage is a choice to commit to the person you love. With Christian marriage counseling, you can begin to work through unresolved issues as you become closer to God. Your counselor and God are bound to you, and to never reveal what happens in sessions to the outside world. In these sessions you are free to express any unhappiness or doubt you have so that you can have a clear plan to strengthen your relationship with your spouse as well as with God.
10. Understanding of Your Spouse
By attending Christian marriage counseling, you can gain a better sense of what your spouse needs from you and how you can achieve these goals. Every person grows and changes throughout life, this is an opportunity for you to discuss how you would like to grow together and through God. You can develop a plan for solving your problems and having your needs met in a healthy way.
11. Hope For the Future
By choosing Christian marriage counseling, there is already hope for your marriage. Choosing Christian marriage counseling means that you are choosing a type of counseling that prioritizes reconnecting with your spouse and God.
Here at Douglas McQuistan Counseling, we do offer Christian marriage counseling. We believe life and its struggles are temporary and we have an eternal future that will be without sorrow. If you are interested in this type of counseling, reach out here and mention your interest in Christian therapy.